Have you always wanted to be the cool girl, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you dying to be the cool guy, who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident, unique, and on friendly terms with everyone. There's no reason you can't be like that yourself.
Step 1 :
Don't care so much about what others think of you. We will always, on some level, be concerned with others' opinions of ourselves, but realize that ultimately, you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don't be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.
Step 2 :
Be aware of how others will perceive you. This might seem to contradict the previous step, but there's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure: try not to stare too much (it makes people uncomfortable), stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; analyzing body language can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.
Step 3 :
Present yourself in a positive way. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need.
Step 4 :
Find real friends. For example, if people don't hang out with you because you don't wear designer clothes, they are not real friends. Instead, find friends that see you for who you are. If the people standing in front of you can't see you for you, then how can they be your friend?
Step 5 :
Don't be afraid to be different, whether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. These people will try to get to you, in an attempt to take the attention off of you and bestow it upon themselves. The important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness, just ignore them. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.
Step 6 :
Speak up. Observe people who are "cool"--they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, unless you use it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
Step 7 :
Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
Step 8 :
Write a list of all of the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent -- sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
Step 9 :
Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Stay calm. Don't be disruptive, annoying, or have unpredictable mood changes. You are serene and steadfast in your coolness and it should show. That means not getting too caught up in anything, not even your cool self.
Step 10 :
Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive.
Step 11 :
Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends. Then wait for the right moment to make a comment, usually to great result. However, if you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with them. Making fun of people is fine, but make sure that you know the limits on it and that the people you're around are the kind of people who know you're kidding.
Step 12 :
Keep your "cool". The very definition of cool is being calm, composed, under control, not excited, indifferent, and socially adept. Many times, cool people are those that don't get excited about things, that don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to deal with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Often times, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying too hard. People like people that don't try, but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place. Be confident.
Step 13 :
Be yourself. Don't try to be like anyone else. Live life for who you are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, its about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are.
Tips :
If being picked on is your worry, know and understand that showing yourself affected by it is precisely what separates the coolest from the others, and take this as a chance to actually be perceived as cool. Know that who you are in your core is not determined by others, especially if they don´t truly know you. Be happy with yourself as you are, since there is nothing really wrong with you in your core.
Do something that everyone will remember. but don't do something like poop in the urinals to get attention. Maybe it's some hilarious antic that you perform, or maybe you win the school football game. Whatever you do, don't get yourself in trouble!
If you're naturally shy, learn how to overcome it. It's very easy. The first step is to talk to people. At least say hello to everyone you know. The second step is to talk some more. And the third step? Keep talking. The more you chat with people, the more friends you will make. You may expect it to be hard talking to people, so just start off easy. Everyone has one good friend. Talk to your friend's friends. If your friend is a real friend, then those people will most likely be nice, too. If you're a real friend to him/her, then your friend's friends will like you, too. You'll gradually start to become popular.
Don't just wait for someone to ask you to hang out. They're waiting for you. Invite them over. And be prepared. Don't have them come over and you can't find anything to do. It's a real turn off for your friend, and they won't want to come back again.
Find a way to love learning. The coolest people do a lot of really cool things. There is an old system that says the more you practice the easier something is to do. When you can learn something really well it's easier to be cool at it.
GET OUT THERE. Do stuff. Play a sport. Get in a club. Do something. The more you get out there instead of hanging around at home, the more you can socialize with people, and have fun.
Learn to read people and be patient when sharing an opinion. Understand that whatever you say to someone or give advice, that is just your opinion. They either accept it or reject it, there's no need to force them to understand. Just make sure you know what you're talking about.
Change your attitude--if you have a negative attitude change it. Cool people always have a positive attitude. No one likes a negative person. When people get to know you and see that you always have a positive look on things even when things are not going your way, they will enjoy your company.
If any bad thing happens in your life, don't keep thinking about it forever. Get over it. It's not the end of the world. Sooner or later, everyone else will forget about it, too.
Don't try to bribe people into doing things for you, even if they accept it. Other people will think you can't take care of yourself.
Some people are not the people that would be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" and still hang out with not the most popular group.
Don't base your coolness on making others seem uncool. You'll make more enemies than friends that way. People aren't going to worship someone who bosses or beats them around all the time. They'll be scared maybe, but they won't respect you.
Never use your coolness to put people down, even if everyone else is doing it. With great power comes great responsibility!
Always stick up for people, and don't bully others, because to be cool, means to be liked by everyone, including those who are not as socially high-ranking as yourself.
Don't try to be a stereotype. Act the way you want to and listen to the music you want to. Dress the way you want to. Being cool is being you. Find out who you are and then be true to it. That's cool.
Do not be little others to make yourself feel stronger.
(Articles from wikiHow)
